3 Signs that it's time go back to work

#1 You are watching Clash of the Choirs on NBC.
#2 You can't figure out how to get the light fixture off to replace the light on the front porch
#3 You got excited because you get an extra chicken nugget in your 8 pack ...

Yes folks, I am more than a little excited to be back from Christmas break...yes siree.

I am a hard drive crash test dummy

Well, not a crash, but certainly a fender bender this time. This morning, after returning from vacation, the ol' 17 inch office laptop got slower, and s l ow e r, and s l o w ... e ... r until all I had was the infamous pinwheel of death. (I will pause to allow Mac fans to rejoice. Both of you, take your liberty.)

Because I am a one trick tech pony, I restarted it. That trick failed. I did it again, as if the machine didn't realize what had happened. No dice, no whir, no data. Selah.

OK, so I've got one more trick. Reinstall the OS. I managed to get that done and find all my data again, but Brandon der Wondertech had to reset all my email settings. It seems four email accounts syncing across three devices takes a little more than my skill.

Must be hunting season...

I was walking into the grocery store at lunch today and just had to take a picture of this. It only makes sense if you live in Dallas. If you don't, it's just weird!

This can't be news departement

OK, I'm getting really concerned about the folks at CNN.com. Either they're down to half staff because of the holidays, or they really have given up entirely, but check out the screen shot below.

The first headline under 'funny news' has been there for at least five days. Maybe a week. I've resisted clicking on it - actually, I'm not remotely tempted to click on it because if it's accurate, it's the last thing I want to see...

Christmas thoughts 2007

• Christmas eve was a traditional American holiday at my house. We went to the movies. We saw National Treasure 2, which was quite entertaining for the portions of the evening when I was able to suspend my cynicism to allow myself to believe in a world that one could quite easily wander up to the president and initiate a conversation unmolested by the Secret Service. Afterwards we came home to build gingerbread condos.

• A broadcast text message is not a heartfelt holiday greeting, but I still got a half dozen of them. If you sent one, I'm talking about the others, not yours. It gave me warm fuzzies to get yours.

• Remember Legos? When I was a kid, they came in one shape - rectangular. You could build anything your imagination would concoct, but when you were done, it was rectangular. Square cars. Square people. 90 degree angles. Well, it's a new day in LegoLand, and you are not determining what you build anymore. Today's child gets a Lego Set to build a specific robotic dinosaur eating space ship. It has 4,251 pieces and ain't one of them square. In face, ain't two of them alike. Don't bother using your imagination - this stuff fits one way only, and it takes a degree from MIT to assemble these things. The kids don't even do it...They go and play with their brothers' stuff, returning to the table once in a while to proclaim "you're doing GREAT Uncle Keith!"

My apologies

For dropping off the radar there for a bit. I've been on vacation the past 2 weeks, and during that time took a complete break from anything internet related. The purge was needed.

After suffering through withdrawl for 2 weeks, I am back! I lost 5lbs over the last 2 weeks, so maybe I should take a technology break more often?

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Last night I sat down with some friends and we watched “Shrek the Halls,” the new 30 minute holiday piece from the Shrek team. It was great, but it wasn’t as good as my all time favorite, which is “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” We’ll be watching that together soon.

I love the scene where Linus reads the Christmas story in Luke 2. When he comes to the place where he reads, “Fear not, for behold I bring you news of great joy,” he actually drops his blanket (which represents his security). Just a cool nugget for cartoon viewing.

What are your favorite Christmas movies?

All right stop...collaborate and listen...

Man oh man, I am definitely thankful I do not live anywhere near Kansas. Check out this ice storm! This is off the chain!!!!


Ice-ice baby...

Odd item of the week

Had something interesting happen over the week-end.

I was off to the car dealership to help a buddy of mine pick up their van that was in for new brakes. We settled the invoice and headed outside where they were going to pull the van around front.

Waited...and waited.

Poked our heads inside and said, "Freezing waiting here."

The reply was "Follow Me gentlemen".

We went downstairs into the service bay - this couldn't be good.
The technician who "fixed" the brakes forgot to flush the line so as they put my buddy's van in reverse to drive it to the front, alas no break.

It slammed into the car lift on the opposite side of the bay.
Broke the whole left side. Took off the bumper.

To top it off, there was a car on the aforementioned bay that ended up hitting the glass and destroying the roof of the van. I feel bad for the guy whose car is up on the lift. It is not only damaged, but stuck up there. When the van crashed into it, the impact broke the lift.

If that wasn't bad enough, as we were getting my buddy's kids car seats out of the van, when I looked up, the technician (dunno if this is the same dude who fixed the brakes) was on the computer...looking at porn. Right there, in the open, in front of everyone.

Wow.

The good news is it won't cost my buddy a dime - the dealership picks up the entire tab.
I wish I had a photo as evidence but my cell phone ran out of juice and I didn't have my click, click with me.

Huh?

Standing in front a 7-Eleven just now near the office...I just saw a Duece-and-a-half roll by, military green, of course.

A sign on the back read: Corporate Machine Gun Rentals. No joke.

Corporate.

Machine Gun.

Rentals.

Marinate on that one for a while.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Yep, it's that time of the year again. You thought I forgot, didn't you??

How could I forget that on December 6th, at 8:45am, the world said a mighty big "Whassup" to a rockin' baby boy weighing in at a whopping 9lbs, 10 oz.

My parents definitely remember. The evening prior, they were at a Rolling Stones concert when my mom's water broke. I was 3 weeks early.

Apparently, I couldn't get no satisfaction....

This kid is in real trouble

Remember when you t.p.'d the principal's house and thought you'd pulled off the bravest prank in history? Somebody just one upped you, and he may never see daylight...

"A 17-year-old Hopewell High student was apparently acting on a dare when he did a fly-over prank at a Hopewell High football game Friday, at one point dipping below the stadium lights.
Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools officials said Sunday that the teen pilot and two teen passengers flew the length of the field three times around 8 p.m. The plane reportedly came within feet of a flag pole.

On the final pass, a pair of tennis shoes and a football dropped from the single-engine Cessna 172 into the end zone, officials said.

(The plane...) was quickly identified as being rented from Lincoln County Regional Airport. That’s where Lincoln County sheriff’s deputies were waiting when it landed.

Detained at the airport for questioning were the 17-year-old pilot who had rented the plane and his passengers, another 17-year-old Hopewell student and an 18-year-old Hopewell graduate. "

Read this in the news this morning.....CRAAAAZY!

I don't need your stinking landline

Believe it or not, AT&T still thinks they're in the telephone business. I haven't had a landline in about nine months. Don't miss it. There's no need for it with wireless service which I happen to have through T-Mobile.

I called the company the other day inquiring about high-speed Internet service. It's available in my area. And, it's cheaper than the Internet service that the cable company provides. The only problem is that AT&T won't sell you Internet service unless you also purchase local telephone service. I don't need local telephone service, because I have T-Mobile wireless service. But, by requiring the landline, their "Internet" service ends up being $15 per month more than the cable company.

Makes me wonder how long it will be before Google has WiFi in my area? Sign me up.

Lick = YUCK!!!

Why do people do this?

I was dropping off some shirts at the dry cleaners this morning. I had a great chat with the employee working the counter. She was, how shall we say, more mature in age than I am. On that note, I always love getting called "dear" and "sweety" in conversations - by people like this lady.

Then she did something that makes me go...yuck.

She licked her fingers to separate the receipt.

Now I know paper is sometimes hard to separate, and this may seem like a quick and efficient solution to the problem, but c'mon do we have to lick our fingers, place our spit on the receipt, and then hand it to me?

The receipt that I was handed today was wet at the bottom....WET!

Thank God for Purrell!

The standing egg

Here's a picture of an egg standing straight up on the Fall Equinox. I don't understand this stuff (my friend tried to explain it to me), but it has something to do with the rotation of the earth... enjoy.

The MacDaddy of all photos

This is not how I remember taking notes in ANY of my college classes. Of course back then, laptops hadn't been invented yet!!

Man, saying that makes me feel old!

Thanks to my buddy Steve for sending me the pic from The University of Louisville. It's enough to make IT directors everywhere twitch for fear of being laid off!

Time flies when you're completely smoked

Friends, do not confuse the lack of blogging with the lack of thinking. I haven't had much time to blog lately, but trust me, the ol' bean is spinning at a rate that would undoubtably void the warranty, were I not already out of warranty.

Did I mention I'm busy right now? I kind of hate to, because everyone is busy...and it's never cool to compare one's busy-ness with another one's busy-ness. Sort of a mind your own busy-ness unspoken rule. I can, however, compare it to my own schedule, and let me tell you that I have never been cranking so hard in my life.

Note - this blog has been interrupted four times by emails. Two of which I needed to answer.

The thunder rolls

I woke up in the middle of the night to a flash of lightening last Friday night/Saturday morning. Normally during storms, it's the thunder that wakes you...but normally during storms the lightening is 'out there' somewhere and the thunder races your direction. In this case, the lightening was somewhere right outside my window - the electric arc zapped so brightly through the drawn curtains that it was like God had fired up the welder for His own version of Monster Garage.

I slept that morning 'till 9:15....3 hours and fifteen minutes past my normal wake up time. It was glorious. I wandered out into the grey of the house - it was still dark because the storm was still raging. Once I had the coffee pot operating I couldn't resist opening the windows to listen to the thunder roll (grace to those of you who now can't get a Garth Brooks tune out of your head).

Who ya gonna call?

Just saw this. It's been 23 years since the wacked out Ghostbuster crew battled the Stay Puft Marhsmallow Man.

Apparently, someone is willing to part with this bit of 1984 nostalgia. A Ghostbuster's phone. Kinda makes the Iphone seem obsolete now, don't it??

Children of the 80's step up and place your bid. It's currently at $104 smackers on Ebay.

It's being sold as is, so if it's broke, "Who ya gonna call??"

Thoughts on Thoughts

I have come to the following conclusion about thoughts, having given it some thought for a while. There are fast thoughts and there are deep thoughts. Everyone is capable of both kinds of thoughts, but no one can think both kinds of thoughts at the same time.

Fast thoughts are rapid fire. They're details and shortcuts and contracts and post-its and the mental equivalent of the three dollar bag of cheetoes from the Dollar General down the sidewalk from my office. They can fill you up but they can't sustain you. It should be said that fast thoughts have their place. Without them you can't find your keys and not much gets done at all. The world turns on fast thoughts. It's just that the world is not propelled by them.

Deep thoughts actually power the rotation of the earth. Where fast thoughts follow the path of least resistance or the freeway with the fewest exits, deep thoughts meander along the riverbank, doubling back so many times you wonder "haven't I been here before?" and you have, except you were going the other way. Deep thoughts, properly cooked, marinate in their own juices. While fast thoughts change things that day, deep thoughts change principles that change fast thoughts forever.

I've been running hard lately...lots of fast thoughts. I don't feel bad about that, but I am craving the steamy spiced chai of deep thoughts.

Don't let another week go by without dipping into the well of deep thoughts.