Hot buttons

This past 4th of July weekend I ate lunch with my family at their church picnic in Denton. I sat across the table from my Mom so I could keep an eye on her.

You know, everybody's got 'buttons' (triggers that, when pushed, get a reaction). Learning which ones to push, and when to push them, is an art. If you push the 'laugh button', they laugh. Push the 'cry button' and they cry. (You wanna stay away from that one, if you can.) Then, there's what I call the 'Hot Button'. It's the one that sparks the most passion. And it's my favorite to push...

So... I was sitting across the table from Mom... eating my cheeseburger and potato salad. The food was great but the conversation slowed way down. We were in a lull. I think it was because of the heat. I saw Mom yawn behind her hand. I thought, "Poor woman, she's getting bored."

So, I said, in a loud, obnoxious voice, "You know, I heard if you drink a glass of red wine every day you'll live longer."

Mom started choking on her corn-on-the-cob.

I continued my rant in one breath, "I read it in USA Today. 'Frainch' people drink wine and rarely have heart problems and THEY'RE the ones who think butter is a vegetable AND the Apostle Paul told Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach's sake... Ain't it wonderful how science is always proving the Bible, Mom?"

My Dad and my brothers all rolled their eyes.

Mom shushed, "KEITH AARON!"

Lifting my voice so surrounding tables could hear, I proclaimed, "Yep! One glass of red wine a day and you'll live forever... USA TODAY and the Bible agree!"

My mother's neck was starting to splotch. "Shhh! Someone will hear you and you'll ruin your testimony."

Raising my iced tea glass, I said, "YEP! PAUL SAID TO DRINK A LITTLE WINE!"

Pay dirt!

Mom sat straight up in her chair, looked me dead in the eyes, cleared her throat and went to preachin', "Paul wasn't talking about wine! He was talking about grape juice! The Book of Habbakuk says not to even look on it while it stirreth in the cup."

I said, "Mom, he was talking about Nyquil. It stirreths in the cup. One shot of that stuff and it's, 'Hello, Mr. Sandman!'"

I probably laid on Mom's 'Hot Button' a little too long, so I said, "I hate wine. Nasty stuff. I'll just have to die of a heart attack, at least I won't ruin my testimony."

Mom was happy, again.

You may be thinking, "Why Keith? Why do you have to push the 'Hot Button'?" Well, I'll tell ya... It's because I'm curious. And it's fun! Mom's reactions are always good entertainment. She's passionate about what she believes. And, as her loud-mouthed son, it's my duty to challenge her. That's why God sent me to earth. Also, I love a good debate. A little tension... a few thought-provoking ideas... throw in a few neck splotches and you got yourself a rip-roaring conversation.

I've had a knack for pushing 'Hot Buttons' since I was a kid. The first time I remember using this wonderful gift was when I was four or five years old. I was the ring-bearer at a family friend's wedding. As soon as the wedding was over, I looked up at the bride and said, "You pregnant, yet?"

It's been my blessing and my curse. It's gotten me in a whole heap of trouble.
But, what we are passionate about tells us a lot about ourselves. I'm hoping that when you read this, you laugh a lot, groan a little, wince a bit and, every now and then, your brain sweats. But don't ever let it make your blood pressure rise. Remember: This is not an epistle - it's just a brain-belch.

And I'm just trying to find your 'Hot Button'.
I hope I hit it.