If you remember, back in May, I began a new feature to my blog entitled 1-800-ASK-KEITH.
It's meant to be an advice warning to those who may read my blog, that I may never personally come into contact with in my lifetime. So here goes installment #2. These are the people who should have called me first this week:
Katie Holmes-- Please wake up and smell the stench. Tom Cruise is just using you to prove to the world (and himself) that he is something that he is obviously not. Listen to your parents and run away...FAST!
Tom Cruise-- Any sensible person can see you are fabricating/faking/forcing the relationship with Katie. You need to seek professional help, and you need Christ, not L.Ron Hubbard.
Michael Jackson-- Your career is over in the US. You'd better thank your attorney's for saving your freedom, because they can't save your career. David Hasselhoff does great in Germany, maybe you could too?
Phil Jackson-- Why try to rebuild the Lakers when you could have had LeBron?
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