Memorize it!

Last year, my parents celebrated thirty-five years of marriage. I was looking through the pictures I'd collected from their decades together and thought to myself, "How did they do it? They are so different."

I've heard that the longer people live together, the more they look alike. Not so with Mom and Dad. My mother's nose comes to a point. My dad's nose is just a bit longer. He does have a square chin, though. Mama's got the chin she inherited from her mother. Mom has green eyes and Dad has piercing blue eyes. And what did I get? Mom's nose, and Dad's square chin. My eyes are bright blue/green. A perfect combo of the 2 of them.

Mom loves music and sings like Patsy Cline. Dad loves peace and quiet and sings like Fred Flintstone. Yet, every December 6th, my dad calls and warbles in a clumsy monotone his version of Happy Birthday.

Dad loves to tell jokes. And we love hearing them. Sometimes, he laughs so hard that, by the time he gets to the punch line, you can't understand a word he's saying. Which really doesn't matter. We've heard most of them. Watching him laugh is the fun part. Then, after catching his breath, he wipes his eyes and lets out a high-pitched 'Wooo Hooooo'.

But, most of the time my dad is quiet. Mom is not.

Dad knows how to pause between stories. Mom does not.

Dad can keep his opinions to himself. Mom cannot.

The problem with that is, you never really know what Dad's thinking. With Mom, you never have to wonder. And there's some merit to that. Thinking before speaking is highly over-rated. Dad only talks when he has something to say. Mom talks until she has something to say. She and I are a lot alike in that regard. We figure, if we talk long enough, something brilliant will fall out.

Mom and I are 'Talk-Thinkers'. We have to talk while we think. The rest of the family can run entire sentences through their brains before they say them out loud. Mom and I don't know what we're thinking until we hear ourselves say it. And there are times when we don't agree with it after we hear it. But, when we like what we hear, we repeat it until we memorize it.

Mom and Dad have been repeating their love for each other for over thirty-five years - on a daily basis. And their love keeps growing. I've watched Mom gently hold his hand on the couch at Christmas. I've even caught them kissing a time or two. Not passionate kisses (no child should ever have to see that) - more like the way parakeets kiss. Little smooches. They really depend on each other.

Seeing their love for each other and us kids created a secure feeling in our home. My brothers and I were (and still are!) loved unconditionally. I never felt there was a line I could cross and lose their love. I brought home a lot of notes, when I was a kid, from frustrated teachers. But I knew there weren't enough trees, to make enough paper, to make enough notes, to make my Mom and Dad stop loving me.

Mom and Dad have been in love since the 60's. They married when the were just teens. I guess that's how they did it. They just kept repeating it until they memorized it.