Click on the link below if you have a few seconds to waste. It's a fun little game with Penguins. The furthest I hit was 288.3, see if you can do better.
http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf
**UPDATE**
-I just hit 317.1!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
New Toy
Over the weekend I upgraded my tv and entertainment system, and it was a huge leap forward (technology-wise) for me. Previously, my tv had only one input/output...the cable connector...and that was it. Now, I have this massive 36in Sony flat screen, HDTV monster that weighs in at 238lbs!! I got a brand new cherry-wood armoire and the Bose 15 point surround sound system with sub-woofer to boot! Watching a DVD will never be the same!
[Currently playing on my IPod: Tell The World by Hillsong United]
[Currently playing on my IPod: Tell The World by Hillsong United]
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Bulk Pickup
My fine town offers a very convenient service - bulk pickup. Every other week, in addition to normal trash pickup, they send another truck by to get items that won't fit in your trash can, such as brush, bags of leaves, and boxes.
About a year ago I had an old treadmill that I'd been trying to decide what to do with. Believe it or not, this was not a dusty, under-used treadmill, but a thoroughly worn out one. Over the past 7 years, I actually wore a hole in the belt and the engine was basically defunct. It was clearly time for it to go, but where? What do you do with a treadmill?
For the first couple of weeks, I honestly couldn't think of any good options, because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the trash company would never take a treadmill. As I was driving home one night, though, I saw the curbside evidence throughout the neighborhood that bulk pickup day was just around the corner. The thought slowly crossed my mind, "Maybe they would take a treadmill!" That was followed seconds later with, "Never going to happen my friend."
The next morning, I finally gave in. I called the trash company and asked, "Would you pick-up a
treadmill?"
"Sure," they said.
"Like a real treadmill? Over 5 feet long? Heavy? Lots of metal?"
"No problem."
I couldn't believe it. This was great news! I moved it out of my apartment and down to the curb (wheels are cool). But as I stood looking at it, so proud of this solution, the thought hit me - this looks awful. Can you imagine driving through a neighborhood and someone has a treadmill sitting by the curb? How embarrassing. I actually thought about moving it back until the last possible minute, so most of my neighbors wouldn't see it, but it was too much work.
When I came home later that day, it was gone! All that was left was the green grass next to the curb. If you timed it right, you never would have seen it at all.
And that's when it hit me.
This bulk pickup thing is exactly what it feels like when you've messed up. Not just a little mess up, but something you'd never want to say out loud. Have you ever done something and you thought, "There's no way God can forgive me for this? I mean, this isn't just your run-of-the-mill slip-up. This is BIG TIME. If my neighbors, friends, family knew about it, I could never look them in the eye again."
And you go on for weeks and weeks, wondering what to do with this thing you're carrying around with you, sure that you're past the point of no return. And finally, one day, you give up and say, "God, can you forgive me?"
And He says, "Sure."
And you say, "But did you hear what it is? This is BIG...HEAVY...A REAL MESS."
"No problem."
And it's gone, as if it was never there.
About a year ago I had an old treadmill that I'd been trying to decide what to do with. Believe it or not, this was not a dusty, under-used treadmill, but a thoroughly worn out one. Over the past 7 years, I actually wore a hole in the belt and the engine was basically defunct. It was clearly time for it to go, but where? What do you do with a treadmill?
For the first couple of weeks, I honestly couldn't think of any good options, because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the trash company would never take a treadmill. As I was driving home one night, though, I saw the curbside evidence throughout the neighborhood that bulk pickup day was just around the corner. The thought slowly crossed my mind, "Maybe they would take a treadmill!" That was followed seconds later with, "Never going to happen my friend."
The next morning, I finally gave in. I called the trash company and asked, "Would you pick-up a
treadmill?"
"Sure," they said.
"Like a real treadmill? Over 5 feet long? Heavy? Lots of metal?"
"No problem."
I couldn't believe it. This was great news! I moved it out of my apartment and down to the curb (wheels are cool). But as I stood looking at it, so proud of this solution, the thought hit me - this looks awful. Can you imagine driving through a neighborhood and someone has a treadmill sitting by the curb? How embarrassing. I actually thought about moving it back until the last possible minute, so most of my neighbors wouldn't see it, but it was too much work.
When I came home later that day, it was gone! All that was left was the green grass next to the curb. If you timed it right, you never would have seen it at all.
And that's when it hit me.
This bulk pickup thing is exactly what it feels like when you've messed up. Not just a little mess up, but something you'd never want to say out loud. Have you ever done something and you thought, "There's no way God can forgive me for this? I mean, this isn't just your run-of-the-mill slip-up. This is BIG TIME. If my neighbors, friends, family knew about it, I could never look them in the eye again."
And you go on for weeks and weeks, wondering what to do with this thing you're carrying around with you, sure that you're past the point of no return. And finally, one day, you give up and say, "God, can you forgive me?"
And He says, "Sure."
And you say, "But did you hear what it is? This is BIG...HEAVY...A REAL MESS."
"No problem."
And it's gone, as if it was never there.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
New State Slogans
These were so funny, I had to post them. I have no idea who wrote them, but they're hilarious:
Alabama
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything
California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia
We Put The 'Fun' In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois
Please Don't Pronounce the 'S'
Indiana
Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky
Yes, We Have Electricity
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota
10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma
Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina
Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee
The Educashun State
Texas
Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont
Yep
Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.
Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia
One Big Happy Family ... Really!
Wisconsin
Come Cut The Cheese
Alabama
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything
California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia
We Put The 'Fun' In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois
Please Don't Pronounce the 'S'
Indiana
Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky
Yes, We Have Electricity
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota
10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma
Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina
Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee
The Educashun State
Texas
Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont
Yep
Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.
Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia
One Big Happy Family ... Really!
Wisconsin
Come Cut The Cheese
The Bible in 30 seconds
God made.
Adam bit.
Noah arked.
Abraham split.
Joseph ruled.
Jacob fooled.
Bush talked.
Moses balked.
Pharaoh plagued.
People walked.
Sea divided.
Tablets guided.
Promise landed.
Saul freaked.
David peeked.
Prophets warned.
Jesus born.
God walked.
Love talked.
Anger crucified.
Hope died.
Love rose.
Spirit flamed.
Word spread.
God remained!
Adam bit.
Noah arked.
Abraham split.
Joseph ruled.
Jacob fooled.
Bush talked.
Moses balked.
Pharaoh plagued.
People walked.
Sea divided.
Tablets guided.
Promise landed.
Saul freaked.
David peeked.
Prophets warned.
Jesus born.
God walked.
Love talked.
Anger crucified.
Hope died.
Love rose.
Spirit flamed.
Word spread.
God remained!
Monday, May 23, 2005
Star Wars Episode III- Final Verdict
So we saw Star Wars Episode III yesterday afternoon and it was awesome. I'm sure hard core fans of the original trilogy would still rate it below those films but for me it was at least on a par with them and certainly eclipsed the first two episodes. The action in this movie was almost unrelenting, with a sense of urgency and building climax that was maintained throughout the story. And the scale of the battles, the villains, the duels and the personal drama was far above anything we've seen in Star Wars before. And in the midst of all this, George Lucas managed to weave enough in political, religious, and philosophical themes to keep any person looking for a deeper side to the film happy. This was always going to be the movie to tie up all the loose ends and bridge the two trilogies, and it was amazing how effortlessly it all just fell into place. None of the plot seemed contrived or forced to make it fit the original trilogy - it really for the first time looks like this was the story that was there in the beginning 30 years ago, before any of these movies were made, rather than simply a prequel that was added on later. The final scenes of the movie flow seamlessly into "A New Hope" - the title of which now really genuinely makes perfect sense.
The acting was a touch above what we've seen in the last two movies, and although the Anakin-Padme romantic dialogue was a bit syrupy, the romance itself was more like a Shakespearean tragedy. Hayden Christiansen did fairly well as Anakin, but the actor who truly shone was once again Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Like Harrison Ford as Han Solo in the original trilogy, McGregor is the heart and soul of the prequel series, especially in this movie where he gives a brilliant performance. In fact I'd probably say he's one of the best big screen actors going around today full stop.
So see the movie. If you're already a Star Wars fan I don't need to tell you this, but if you found the last two movies disappointing, hopefully Lucas has redeemed himself, and the series, with this amazing movie. A perfect climactic close to the films that have helped define a generation.
[Currently playing in my IPod: Time and Space by Groove Armada]
The acting was a touch above what we've seen in the last two movies, and although the Anakin-Padme romantic dialogue was a bit syrupy, the romance itself was more like a Shakespearean tragedy. Hayden Christiansen did fairly well as Anakin, but the actor who truly shone was once again Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Like Harrison Ford as Han Solo in the original trilogy, McGregor is the heart and soul of the prequel series, especially in this movie where he gives a brilliant performance. In fact I'd probably say he's one of the best big screen actors going around today full stop.
So see the movie. If you're already a Star Wars fan I don't need to tell you this, but if you found the last two movies disappointing, hopefully Lucas has redeemed himself, and the series, with this amazing movie. A perfect climactic close to the films that have helped define a generation.
[Currently playing in my IPod: Time and Space by Groove Armada]
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Think you know everything?
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is 'screeched'.
All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles' full name is 'El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula'.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
...now you know everything
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is 'screeched'.
All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles' full name is 'El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula'.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
...now you know everything
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Time with God
The enemy tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink men's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.
It has always fascinated me that those who speak so passionately about the differences in the Body of Christ would turn around and prescribe the same time and relationship with God to everyone. Could it be our best times with God come as unexpected experiences throughout our lives?
Don't hear me wrong here, I'm not saying avoid spending regular time with God - I'm just saying dump your agenda when you do - plan to take time, but don't plan what will happen during that time. I've found that, when I set aside this kind of unplanned time for God, He fills it differently - miraculously - every day.
Sometimes I spend long periods of time in the Bible - others I don't even touch it. Sometimes I pray and pray - others I just listen to the silence and open my spirit to His guidance. Regardless of what happens during this time, it focuses my soul for the day.
[Currently playing on my IPod: Wash Away by Vertical Horizon]
It has always fascinated me that those who speak so passionately about the differences in the Body of Christ would turn around and prescribe the same time and relationship with God to everyone. Could it be our best times with God come as unexpected experiences throughout our lives?
Don't hear me wrong here, I'm not saying avoid spending regular time with God - I'm just saying dump your agenda when you do - plan to take time, but don't plan what will happen during that time. I've found that, when I set aside this kind of unplanned time for God, He fills it differently - miraculously - every day.
Sometimes I spend long periods of time in the Bible - others I don't even touch it. Sometimes I pray and pray - others I just listen to the silence and open my spirit to His guidance. Regardless of what happens during this time, it focuses my soul for the day.
[Currently playing on my IPod: Wash Away by Vertical Horizon]
Monday, May 16, 2005
1-800-ASK-KEITH
OK, here's how this new feature of my blog works. I've joked with my friends for years about the fact that people should call me before they make decisions in their lives.
Sometimes it's over trivial things--like whether or not someone should have selected the outfit they are wearing. Sometimes it's over bigger things--like whether or not someone is a good fit for the job they're pursuing. Sometimes it's over stuff that makes the news. That includes items that are legitimately newsworthy and items that wouldn't even qualify for the 10:00 pm newscast on Dallas television.
Well, here's the beauty of blogging--whether someone wants my opinion or not, I can offer it. You can choose to agree with it or not, but it's still my opinion and I can post whatever I want. After all, it's my blog.
So, without any further delay, here's the first (and maybe last) edition of 1-800-ASK-KEITH. These are the people that should have called me first this week:
Cameron Diaz -- You can do better than Justin Timberlake. Don't marry him.
Phil Jackson -- Take the job with Cleveland. You'll have the chance to coach one of the greatest basketball players of all time, and you'll get the opportunity to build a program from the ground up.
W. -- It's a good thing when the first lady has a chance to say what's on her mind. People like that.
NHL-- Come to an agreement soon, stop being so greedy. You are not the NFL.
Sometimes it's over trivial things--like whether or not someone should have selected the outfit they are wearing. Sometimes it's over bigger things--like whether or not someone is a good fit for the job they're pursuing. Sometimes it's over stuff that makes the news. That includes items that are legitimately newsworthy and items that wouldn't even qualify for the 10:00 pm newscast on Dallas television.
Well, here's the beauty of blogging--whether someone wants my opinion or not, I can offer it. You can choose to agree with it or not, but it's still my opinion and I can post whatever I want. After all, it's my blog.
So, without any further delay, here's the first (and maybe last) edition of 1-800-ASK-KEITH. These are the people that should have called me first this week:
Cameron Diaz -- You can do better than Justin Timberlake. Don't marry him.
Phil Jackson -- Take the job with Cleveland. You'll have the chance to coach one of the greatest basketball players of all time, and you'll get the opportunity to build a program from the ground up.
W. -- It's a good thing when the first lady has a chance to say what's on her mind. People like that.
NHL-- Come to an agreement soon, stop being so greedy. You are not the NFL.
Simply the Truth: Galatians 2:19-20
"I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a 'law man' so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not 'mine,' but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that."
Galatians 2:19-20 (The Message)
Galatians 2:19-20 (The Message)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
God-sized dreams
How powerfully could the Spirit move through our lives, families and ministries if we all started out dreaming above and beyond what we thought ourselves capable of doing? How rich would our lives be?
Too many times I find myself dreaming Keith-sized dreams; and God always takes them beyond that to greater things. But what if I dreamed God-sized dreams and watched where He took those? Wow!!
[Currently playing on my IPod: Captivate Me by Delirious?]
Too many times I find myself dreaming Keith-sized dreams; and God always takes them beyond that to greater things. But what if I dreamed God-sized dreams and watched where He took those? Wow!!
[Currently playing on my IPod: Captivate Me by Delirious?]
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Character- A leader worth following
Sometimes I feel like God has got the wrong guy. It is likely that God will use all of us in areas beyond what our character seems ready for. Too often the temptation is to cover our flaws, hoping they are as elusive to others as we pretend they are to ourselves.
The problem here, is that character is personal, but it is not private. Eventually the truth comes out. I think it’s interesting that we think God put us in our position for the good of a task, rather than the good of His Spirit in us. Could it be our character is stretched not so we can cover it and accomplish what we have been given, but so we can have it transformed through the journey the Spirit is leading us on? Could it be the very things we are struggling with are they keys we are searching for to unlock what God has called us to do?
I think so often we fail in accomplishing the vision God has given us, not because of a lack of competence, but because of our disinterest in developing our character as priority before accomplishing the vision. You can lead without character. But character is what makes you a leader worth following. We are always one decision, one word, one reaction away from damaging what has taken years to develop.
Those who choose to follow you want you to be a leader worth following. They will judge you not so much for where you led them, but how you led them. Their stories will always include their personal estimation of you as a person, not just your leadership skills. The truth is that those who choose to follow you will expect more from you by way of character than they expect from themselves.
[Currently playing on my IPod: Spin by Lifehouse]
The problem here, is that character is personal, but it is not private. Eventually the truth comes out. I think it’s interesting that we think God put us in our position for the good of a task, rather than the good of His Spirit in us. Could it be our character is stretched not so we can cover it and accomplish what we have been given, but so we can have it transformed through the journey the Spirit is leading us on? Could it be the very things we are struggling with are they keys we are searching for to unlock what God has called us to do?
I think so often we fail in accomplishing the vision God has given us, not because of a lack of competence, but because of our disinterest in developing our character as priority before accomplishing the vision. You can lead without character. But character is what makes you a leader worth following. We are always one decision, one word, one reaction away from damaging what has taken years to develop.
Those who choose to follow you want you to be a leader worth following. They will judge you not so much for where you led them, but how you led them. Their stories will always include their personal estimation of you as a person, not just your leadership skills. The truth is that those who choose to follow you will expect more from you by way of character than they expect from themselves.
[Currently playing on my IPod: Spin by Lifehouse]
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Good exercise and good food
I received this from a friend this morning about health and eating. It's hilarious....
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO .. Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Coca Cola in one hand - hamburger in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO .. Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Coca Cola in one hand - hamburger in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
Monday, May 09, 2005
Mysteries of the universe
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up about every couple hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
[Currently playing on my IPod: Elevation by U2]
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up about every couple hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
[Currently playing on my IPod: Elevation by U2]
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Nothing Says You Care Like Cheap Toilet Paper
Okay, I admit it. I'm from Texas and sarcasm is my preferred form of humor. But that is exactly what I thought when I went to my gym this morning and went into the bathroom. The toilet paper had definitley been downgraded by a bean counter who cared more about the money than the customer who might actually have to use the toilet paper he downgraded.
Now, trust me, I'm going somewhere with this. In the world of customer care, the quickest test of customer care in any establishment is . . . the bathroom/restroom facilities. Why? Because restooms are a cost center, not a revenue center. In other words, the only reason anyone would ever spend money on restoom facilities (other than having a basic toilet and sink combo) is because they actually care.
Don't believe me? Do your own investigation. Go to a nice restaurant, then a cheap one. Go to a nice hotel, then a cheap one. Go to a nice church, then a cheap one. It really doesn't matter. If someone is willing to spend money on nice bathroom fixtures, nice lighting, nice decorations and nice toilet paper, then they care about you—not just your wallet and their bottom line.
So, how about you? What do your bathroom facilities say about you or your church? Is it time to upgrade to a nicer toilet paper and to let your bean counter know that you won't sacrifice on your commitment to excellence? I hope so.
[Currently playing on my IPod: Galaxy Bounce by The Chemical Brothers]
Now, trust me, I'm going somewhere with this. In the world of customer care, the quickest test of customer care in any establishment is . . . the bathroom/restroom facilities. Why? Because restooms are a cost center, not a revenue center. In other words, the only reason anyone would ever spend money on restoom facilities (other than having a basic toilet and sink combo) is because they actually care.
Don't believe me? Do your own investigation. Go to a nice restaurant, then a cheap one. Go to a nice hotel, then a cheap one. Go to a nice church, then a cheap one. It really doesn't matter. If someone is willing to spend money on nice bathroom fixtures, nice lighting, nice decorations and nice toilet paper, then they care about you—not just your wallet and their bottom line.
So, how about you? What do your bathroom facilities say about you or your church? Is it time to upgrade to a nicer toilet paper and to let your bean counter know that you won't sacrifice on your commitment to excellence? I hope so.
[Currently playing on my IPod: Galaxy Bounce by The Chemical Brothers]
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Two Kinds of People
"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened." ~C. S. Lewis - The Great Divorce
[Currently playing on my IPod- Gotta Get Thru This by Daniel Beddingfield]
[Currently playing on my IPod- Gotta Get Thru This by Daniel Beddingfield]
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Identity Crisis...
Why do we have an identify crisis?
1. We look at who we are and not at who He is
2. When we receive correction from God & others we become insecure
3. Other peoples opinions
4. We lack confidence
When your identity is in Christ…
1. We don’t need to tear others down to build ourselves up
2. You can live with an inner conviction not an outer toughness
3. Gifted and successful people are not a threat
4. You take a MESS and turn it into a MESSAGE!
Peter, ‘You are Christ the Son of the Living God’ - When Peter knew who Jesus was he knew who he was. Simon became Peter.We need to look into the mirror of God’s word to discover our true identity.(2 Corinthians 5:17) - A new creation(Galatians 2:20) - I no longer live, but Christ lives in me(Job 3:10) - Let the weak say I am strong!
1. We look at who we are and not at who He is
2. When we receive correction from God & others we become insecure
3. Other peoples opinions
4. We lack confidence
When your identity is in Christ…
1. We don’t need to tear others down to build ourselves up
2. You can live with an inner conviction not an outer toughness
3. Gifted and successful people are not a threat
4. You take a MESS and turn it into a MESSAGE!
Peter, ‘You are Christ the Son of the Living God’ - When Peter knew who Jesus was he knew who he was. Simon became Peter.We need to look into the mirror of God’s word to discover our true identity.(2 Corinthians 5:17) - A new creation(Galatians 2:20) - I no longer live, but Christ lives in me(Job 3:10) - Let the weak say I am strong!
Monday, May 02, 2005
Darth Vader's blog
Ever wondered what it's like to be a Dark Lord of the Sith? Ever wanted to see the world through the tinted visor of a shiny black helmet? If you have, then you might want to take a look at Darth Vader's Blog, The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster
[Currently playing on my IPod: Holiday in My Head by SmashMouth]
[Currently playing on my IPod: Holiday in My Head by SmashMouth]
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