Shock & Awe

I am not an argumentative person. In a group of people where there are many strong personalities, I tend to be the one who is quiet and introspective, most of the time. I have however been blessed with the gift of finding people's hot buttons and pushing them at will, leaving an unforgettable impression (just ask my parents).


This is the way to silence the great debaters and to render them speechless...It's called Shock and Awe. The next time you find yourself listening to a heated debate, wait for about a 20 second pause of silence, then stand up and say the following:


"Well, at least we're not going to be here for the tribulation. Anybody wanna go get a beer? I just got the new Marilyn Manson CD, you guys can ride with me and we can listen to it on the way, but first we have to stop by CVS, my girlfriend just left me a message, her birth control prescription is in."


Then I will majestically walk out of the room, possibly skipping and most certainly in silence. Yes, a hush will fall over the crowd. I will turn around and say, "Thank you very much Dallas/FtWorth, I love you, good night."


You see folks, the key is shock and awe. Cram as much controversy as you can into one brief statement, so much controversy that no one knows what to rebut, and then make your exit.